Domestic Violence Story Chapter Three
Domestic Violence Story - Chapter 3
5 police cars, 10 policemen. Searched the vicinity, never found him. When they left, he showed up. He looked at me and started screaming, "Who the hell did this to you!?" I only had one eye to look at him with and disgustingly looked at him while all my friends were there and said, "You did."
He didn't believe it. He said he went into a "blackout." Well, my opinion of whether or not alcoholics actually do go into "blackouts" is neither here nor there. But something happened that was never fully understandable, that's for certain.
What happened to him? Well, this was a while ago, and California didn't impose strict standards on domestic violence abuse the way they do today. That's too bad, isn't it?
He got 30 days of picking up garbage on the side of the road. BUT, since he had a doctor's note saying he had a bad back from a car accident, he actually only wound up doing 15 days doing desk duty. He would leave early because the woman running the program said he was a hard worker.
Trying to get a job (remember, I had been laid off) looking beat up was impossible. I didn't even leave the house for two weeks, and he shut off the phone so I didn't have anyway to even make phone calls to get a job.
There's more to the story, but this gives you an idea as to how quickly domestic violence can happen. Or was it quickly?
If you see red flags, get out now while you can. My story doesn't get happy, and things didn't get much better, not for quite a while.
I'll tell you more about my life again soon, but please don't repeat my mistakes. Because you will end up with a very difficult, unhappy, low self esteem, codependent life like I have lived for far too long.
Trust me, You DO Deserve Better!
God Bless,
Adrienne
P.S. - These pictures were taken 2 weeks after the initial incident. I can tell you this, makeup doesn't hide these injuries. I went to the supermarket because I had no food, so I tried to look decent. I had two people come up to me and ask to take me to the emergency room and wanted to know who just did this to me. When I told them it happened two weeks ago, they didn't believe me.
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Domestic Violence Products, Spread Awareness
*** A Donation from Each Sale Goes to Domestic Violence Shelters ***
5 police cars, 10 policemen. Searched the vicinity, never found him. When they left, he showed up. He looked at me and started screaming, "Who the hell did this to you!?" I only had one eye to look at him with and disgustingly looked at him while all my friends were there and said, "You did."
He didn't believe it. He said he went into a "blackout." Well, my opinion of whether or not alcoholics actually do go into "blackouts" is neither here nor there. But something happened that was never fully understandable, that's for certain.
What happened to him? Well, this was a while ago, and California didn't impose strict standards on domestic violence abuse the way they do today. That's too bad, isn't it?
He got 30 days of picking up garbage on the side of the road. BUT, since he had a doctor's note saying he had a bad back from a car accident, he actually only wound up doing 15 days doing desk duty. He would leave early because the woman running the program said he was a hard worker.
Trying to get a job (remember, I had been laid off) looking beat up was impossible. I didn't even leave the house for two weeks, and he shut off the phone so I didn't have anyway to even make phone calls to get a job.
There's more to the story, but this gives you an idea as to how quickly domestic violence can happen. Or was it quickly?
If you see red flags, get out now while you can. My story doesn't get happy, and things didn't get much better, not for quite a while.
I'll tell you more about my life again soon, but please don't repeat my mistakes. Because you will end up with a very difficult, unhappy, low self esteem, codependent life like I have lived for far too long.
Trust me, You DO Deserve Better!
God Bless,
Adrienne
P.S. - These pictures were taken 2 weeks after the initial incident. I can tell you this, makeup doesn't hide these injuries. I went to the supermarket because I had no food, so I tried to look decent. I had two people come up to me and ask to take me to the emergency room and wanted to know who just did this to me. When I told them it happened two weeks ago, they didn't believe me.
NOTE: You are always welcome to leave feedback and comments, however, all SPAM comments WILL be deleted. This is a serious issue and is not meant for link builders to place back links on this site. Comments relating to the subject matter will be approved, and others will be deleted. Thank you for your respect.
Domestic Violence Products, Spread Awareness
*** A Donation from Each Sale Goes to Domestic Violence Shelters ***
Adrienne you have beautiful eyes. you must not let what happened to you get yourself down. you also deserve much better than you received. you are young and gorgeous, this will only help you become stronger, smarter and more beautiful. think of only that when a wound heals, the bone becomes stronger than it used to be. discard this incident from your memory or become stronger overcoming it.
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i think your very pretty lady indeed,and thankyou for posting your story xx
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STILL A ROSE...
I HOPE U R WRITING THIS AS A SURVIVOR. I DIVORCED MY ABUSER AFTER 7 YEARS AND 364 DAYS OF MARRIAGE (14 YEARS TOTAL). HE WAS MY HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART. WE HAVE 3 KIDS TOGETHER. I'VE BEEN FREE FOR 4 YEARS NOW, AND I'M IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH A MAN THAT TRULY LOVES ME AND MY KIDS.
I PRESSED CHARGES AND HE DID 3 YEARS AFTER PULLING A GUN ON ME WHILE PREGNANT WITH OUR LAST CHILD. HE'S OUT NOW, BUT I'M STRONGER AND NO LONGER SCARED OR INTIMIDATED BY HIM.
IF U NEED HELP TO GET OUT... EMAIL ME AT STILLAROSE@AOL.COM OR YAHOO.COM
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OMG!!! Please tell me that you are no longer in this abusive relationship. I write you with tears in my eyes, I greave so much for you, for us!!! my name is Xena and I came across your touching blog while doing research for my website dedicated to Domestic Violence.
I decided to Speak Out about Domestic Violence after being abused by my ex-fiance for 5 years. I have been "FREE" FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS NOW. I am not sure where you live (I live in New York) but I would really appreciate it if we could talk through email. I will be launching my website and I hope you will visit it to empower yourself and also chat with other about DV. My main purpose for this site is to reach out to these young girls and also older women that violence is not ok. I want to educate and create a support group online.
What happened to you and I can happen to anyone. I am a survivor, I am ready to "SPEAK OUT"
Speak Out and fight the silence of domestic violence.
Xena
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Adrienne,
You are brave to tell and show the truth of the violence. I will be teaching about our City's Policy- to offer assistance to employees who may be DV victims themselves. In preparation, I was searching for personal stories to use in the sessions so that I can address and present the City's policy with understanding, empathy, and conviction.
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Adrienne.....I was abused for 14 years. It started before marriage and lasted through 3 children. I had no support to get out but I found a way. Stay strong in your beliefs and know that there is always....ALWAYS a choice to walk away. NO matter what the reason, abusers CHOOSE to abuse.
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Adrienne, pleast post to never let your guard down. NEVER. Even after you've remarried, moved, divorce finalized, and all. Mine came back and now my husband and I have protective orders against my ex and because of the system we are all still being forced into a life of domestic violence. so never have children with them. it won't ever make it better. and run as fast as you can. and tell everyone all the time. take lots of pictures and bury your journal in the backyard if you have to. I too fell for the charmer after spending a life becoming strong enough to never wear those shoes. Stay strong. Say lots of prayers. and tell everyone around to pray for you. You'll need it. good luck adrienne. keep us posted. thanks for your story.
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You were very fortunate to have escaped with your life. Unfortunatly, that was not the case for Monica Paul who was shot and killed in front of her children by their father. We the family of Ms. Paul are trying to changes the laws that not only failed her but, continue to fail women and children. Please visit our site and see our cause.
www.monicapaul.org
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Hey Adrienne,
Since meeting you from a couple months ago, I've grown to know you as a really amazing and kind person. I've really learned a lot from you. I never knew that you had this garbage happen to you. And this may come as a shock to you, but I want to share really quick, that I too suffered domestic violence when I was younger. Yes, even men can be abused as well. My parents abused me when I was younger and I guess that I attracted this kind of abuse for some reason. When I was 18 I got involved with a female boxer. Little did I know I would end up being "trained" on when she got mad at me. I've never been knocked out by anyone except her. I loved her and I had a hard time leaving, but finally I got the courage to leave, but not without having the crap beat out of me many times. I know what it's like and no one deserves this. You are a very courageous, intelligent, and beautiful woman. I am really happy I got to know you. Thanks for sharing your story and helping people out. Even though it made me remember some stuff and brought some tears to my eyes, it's good to know we are not alone.
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Men who hit women are a good example when trying to explain someone who truly has no logic, common sense, thought patterns, second thoughts, a sense of the world around them, etc. They are what you get when you go lower than low. Even animals don't fight with the opposite sex. I sincerely apologize for what we put our women through. stay strong Adrienne. It doesn't mater what you do. If a man dares to lay a finger on you with the intent of hurting you, he is automatically at fault.
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My daughter needs this so badly - she is just beginning a relationship and now she is pregnant and has already been abused. I will send this on.
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Sorry MOTHERF*CKER!! HE WILL SUFFER MUCH MORE THAN WHAT HE DID TO YOU!!LOOK AT MEDOFF STEALING MILLIONS FROM OTHERS HE'S IN PRISON NOW. LAST WEEK A PRISIONER WHIPPED HIS ASS BROKE HIS RIBS NOW HE'S IN THE HOSPITAL.BIG DEAL THAT SH*THEAD HAS MORE COMING TO HIM!!! MEN AREN'T WORTH IT!!THEY NEED TO EAT SH*T N DIE!!
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My name is Celia Andrade Swait.I am a surivivor from Domestic Violence..I am very proud of myself..I choose to be Alive and live as a normal person.All my life i was abused ,fisicly and mentaly.Now i am confident of myself.
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On March 8 is ours DAY!The Women's Day.
I hope to all the SURVIVOR'S ,A Safe and happy day. I'm A SURVIVOR!!!Happy Womne's Day .TO ALLL.
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GURL YOU BRAVE BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE F&*$ED HIS AS UP NEVER WOULD I NET HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN IT WAS A CYCLE IN MY FAMILY I BROKE THAT MUTHERF&*4ER I REFUSED TO GET MY ASS BEAT AND BEAUTIFUL AS MY SKIN IS NEVA WOULD IT HAPPEN AGAIN I BETTER BE BLIND CRIPLED OR DEAD BE STRONG SISTA
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To my knowledge I have nvr known anyone in such a relationship but even though I don't know you - my anger and disgust with his actions is as strong as if we were friends. Any person who resorts to physically intimidating their mate is a low-life coward. He probably loves the fact that he cut off the phones and had you isolated cause he gave him control. Also, the fact that you stayed after the first beating taught him that you would not leave so he could continue. Not your fault but he had no incentive to stop cause he still had his 'relationship'. I hope you got out but noting no conclusion - I don't know. Wish there was some way to email you to discuss further
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she's 1000% right.you can't let your guard down. I've regretted doing that when I thought I could but was WRONG,unless it's a paid professional/counselor.
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Adrienne,
I have seen many stories like yours and I myself was a domestic violence victim of four years. After getting out of the bad relationship I started to realize that there are so many people that are unaware of the fact that there are men who suffer domestic violence also. Which brought me to the conclusion that I need to make more people aware of it. Not just for men, but for all who suffer from domestic violence. So Like you I started a domestic violence awareness blog and offer security products,self defense weapons, and self defense techniques. My point is I would like to share your story and pics on my blog. All credit will be givin apropriately.I was also wondering if I could use some of your pics in a domestic violence video that I am creating. It is my firm belief that if more people would have the courage to share their stories as you have there would be so much fewer cases of domestic violence. At any rate. I pray that things are going well for you and that your "Hopefuly" ex-boyfriend gets his.
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AGREE 100 %.
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jealousy,isolation and ANY kind of put-downs intentionally made. notice any patterns of it.
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This usually starts without you being aware of it at first. He can be slyer than a snake for those not aware of how gradual it can be and increases more and more.
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I am very interested in finding out if you got out of that abusive relationship. I too was in an abusive relationship, I choose to get out of that because I had a beautiful daughter to look after. Never did I want to become a statistic. It has been almost 8 years since I left the father of my child, and it was the best decision that I made in my entire life. See, this is what gets me, the female always says that I love him, or I can not live with out him, hell you will not be living if you stay with him. It really pains me to see these young, beautiful, females with these no good, low-down dirty dogs. That beat on women because they are having issues of inadequacy, but prey on these women because they "love them", Ladies please you do not need a man to validate you like you are a car. First thing that I would suggest that you do is try to love your self, then if you love yourself and value your life you would get away and never return.
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i waited 20 years for the man i thought i was madddly n love with.....2-3 months in he cheated with his ex...when he was loosing everything including his home he thought it would benifit us both if he movd n.....that didnt happen i was choked out...bitten n my face had clothes n jewerly rippd off used and after many of his tears convinced he wanted us to b a family, that lasted long enuff for him to retriev his belongings....i have a epo in place, hes been arrested for assult 4th and felom in possesion of firearm...i can only imagine what was next for me im purging him outa my life daily and i hope u found ur inner strength....im still looking for mine we were supposd to be wed july 31 2010...hes on girl numbr 3.....imagine that....i hope this all catches up with him one day...until then i pray....4 u and all the others like us
sincerly
chell
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